Feeling Lonely & Isolated When Coming Out

When I think back to the time in my life when I began my own personal coming out journey, one of the several strong feelings that I remember the most was my sense of loneliness.  I had my women friends who were married, a husband and a great family, but I was experiencing something that I did not dare to share—coming to the realization that I was gay.

Feeling isolated and alone is a recurring theme that I hear from the many women I work with as a life coach.  They are desperate to be able to talk about what is happening to them, but because of the fear of discovery, and sometimes because of the shame they are feeling internally, they hold their fears, hopes and challenges as closely guarded secrets.

It can be so scary to “expose themselves” as gay that they would rather live in isolation than risk the rejection and upheaval that (in their minds) are sure to follow. The problem is that by remaining totally isolated, they deny themselves the wisdom and help of other women who have been through a similar experience.

Whatever the details may be of an individual’s coming out journey, there is a sense of understanding that comes with speaking with someone who has been through it.  When I could no longer take the pain, I reached out to a local professional.  That was an important first step for me, and it can be for you too.

Whether it be a trusted friend, family member, therapist or life coach, I really believe it is in your best interest to speak with someone who can understand and meet you where you are and make it possible to give voice to your feelings. This will then allow you to get out of your own head and help move you forward.

Staying stuck and feeling alone is not necessary.  Right now, there are thousands of women experiencing a major shift in who they have been and in who they are becoming.  Please know that there are steps you can take to ease your journey.  The first one is finding the right person who you can trust, and who has the ability to help you process what is sometimes an extremely difficult situation.

If you’d like to begin the conversation, I’m here to listen and help. You don’t need to feel alone any longer.

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