When I decided to pursue my life’s passion, go back to school and become certified in life coaching, I knew from the very beginning I wanted to work with the population of women who were struggling with coming out as adults. If you’ve been there, you totally get just how challenging it can be. And let me say that married or not, whether you are 25 or 55, many of the feelings and processes are the same. Your unique life circumstance is the only difference. It can be a very difficult time both emotionally and pragmatically (more if you’re married).I want to spend a little bit of time talking about the process and why I feel so passionate about helping these women. As most of you know by now, at 37 I met a woman, fell in love and after much anguish, I made the decision to tell my husband and leave my marriage. Because I’d grown up in a one parent household (my dad died when I was 10), I had always dreamed of having the wife/husband, house, white picket fence and the kids. I was at the point in my life where I had exactly what I wanted…theoretically. What I didn’t have was the love, connection and depth of feeling that I always KNEW I was capable of but never felt in any of my heterosexual relationship. I found all of that when I was introduced to another married woman through mutual friends. And while coming out as a 37 year old was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, it was also the best long-term decision I’ve made.
The fact that I’ve been there and can totally empathize is the “why” I feel so passionate piece. Now, I’d like to talk about the process I use to help others survive and ultimately thrive through their own journey.
Many of the women that come to me feel completely isolated and are experiencing a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. The first and probably the most important thing I can do is listen. Listen with every fiber of my being. These women deserve a place and a person who will meet them where they are – without judgment.
As the process continues, I help women take a look at their fears regarding their futures and other’s possible reactions. There is no agenda – only the open exploration of options and the desire to move you through the chaos and into a place of confidence in what you decide to do around your own personal decisions. My job is that of guide. I do not influence the outcome in any direction; I simply ask the questions that help you to use your magnificent internal wisdom in choosing your own direction.
If and when you decide you are ready to move out of the closet, we work as a team in designing your life, filled with all the wonderful possibility that comes when we align who we are and how we live. Together we set goals and I help you meet them. Our purpose is to empower you to walk with confidence, self-acceptance and pride.
I love what I do. I am one of the lucky ones that have found my passion. And I do understand how difficult it can be to take that first step; to reach out for help. What I can tell you is that the tormented feelings you may be experiencing can be worked through and left behind. I want to help…but the first step is yours to make.
I have a telephone-based women’s coming out support/coaching group starting up on August 1st. Please see my events page for specific information.